The defense mechanism I selected is Denial. As the textbook describes “…It is a way of distorting what the individual thinks, feels, or perceives in a traumatic situation.” (Corey, p.62). It is a way of refusing to accept what is happening and refusing to feel those painful feelings. For example, over three years ago my aunt got very ill, and her health was going poorly with each day passing. But I was in denial that she was getting sicker, even when the doctor called and said that she could pass at any moment. I still thought they were wrong, that they are reading her charts wrong, that she would recover quickly, and isn’t going to die. I went on as if she was at her home with her kids and grandkids, talking to everyone around the block and in great health. That this was all a sick joke my family in Nicaragua were doing to have us book a flight over there. But I was denying what was happening to my aunt, that her days were really counted, that she may one day not wake up. I was protecting myself from facing the facts that I’m losing my aunt sooner rather than later. Another example is one of my mom’s friends got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Her friend was refusing to believe she has it and refusing treatment because she says that she is fine, and she’ll get a second opinion. Even with the second opinion she refuses to believe its Breast Cancer, that the doctors are scamming her because she knows she is “Healthy as a Horse”, and she doesn’t have any lumps on her breast. She was doing all of this because she feared of facing the truth. She was denying it so she wouldn’t have to think of the worst outcomes that could happen.
2.) My experience somewhat consistent with Adler’s view on birth for an only child. It’s true that I share some of the characteristics of the oldest child which is “generally receives a good deal of attention, she tends to be dependable and hardworking and strives to keep ahead.” (Corey, p.103). I always been dependable and hardworking because I want to be successful in whatever I’m doing in life. I always want to be the dependable one due to some of my family and friends needing that person in their life. As well, I get along with older adults better and understand their points because I grew up around adults. “She will learn to deal with adults well, as they make up her original familial world.” (Corey, p.104). Since growing up around adults I’ve always been the more mature one out of my friend group. The one that is responsible and knows what to do in stressful situations which makes me the dependable one in the group. What I don’t agree is when it says “She may not learn to share or cooperate with other children. … often the only child is pampered by her parents and may become dependently tied to one or both of them. She may want to have center stage all of the time, and if her position is challenged, she will feel it is unfair.” (Corey, p.104). Growing up I hated being the center of attention because I was always and still am a shy person. I always wanted the attention away from me and it happened when my baby cousin was born. All the attention went to him, and I gladly accepted it with open arms due to knowing I finally didn’t have the attention from all the adults. I always shared with other kids around me it was my toys, snacks, crayons, etc. I shared it with them. My mom taught me the sharing is caring phase and it was also a way for me to make friends. Never was pampered as a child from my mom which I disagree with what Adler’s says about only child getting pampered by one of both parents. I always been an independent child and rarely asked my mom for help. Always wanted to do things on my own and refuse my mom’s help. So, in some extent I agree with a few of Adler’s view on the birth order, but I feel like it’s how the child was raised that they fall under some or all of Alder’s views.
3.) I agree with this notion because as in the book says, “Existential therapy is a voyage into self-discovery and a journey of life-discovery for both client and therapist (Deurzen,2010; Yalom & Josselson, 2019).” (Corey, p. 149). You as a therapist is trying to show your client that they are responsible for their choices and actions. That whatever is happening in their life, it’s because they are choosing to live the way they are or act the way they are. “…the clients holds the keys to recovery but notes that the therapist must offer a relationship in which the client can openly discover and test his own reality, with genuine understanding and acceptance from the therapist.” (NCBI bookshelf). “…the emphasis is not to dwell on the past, but to use the past as a tool to promote freedom and newfound assertiveness. By coming to the realization that they are neither unique nor destined for a specific purpose, the person in therapy is able to release the obligatory chains that may have been preventing them from existing in fullness from moment to moment.” (Good Therapy). When they realize this the therapist than guides them to those choices, they want to work on for themselves to feel free. “The therapist’s basic task is to encourage clients to consider what they are most serious about so they can purse a direction in life (Deurzen, 2012).” (Corey, p.133).
The role I think the relationship between Will and his therapist play with respect to Will’s progress in treatment is the I/Thou relationship. “Relating in an I/Thou fashion means that there is direct, mutual, and present interaction. Rather than prizing therapeutic objectivity and professional distance, existential therapists strive to create caring and intimate relationships with clients.” (Corey, p.149). Which you see in the video how his therapist let’s Will hug him when he starts to cry. When the therapist repeatedly told him “It wasn’t your fault”, both of them hugging each other and Will freely crying into his arms.
